Help Jay Kay dodge the sliding sofas and collect the bugs. It is the room from Jamiroquai's Virtual Insanity video, drawn in 16-bit pixel art: a black leather two-seater, a matching armchair, and a long concrete corridor that will not hold still, with another piece of furniture shoved in through the door every thirty seconds. Bugs are worth fifty points, the raven costs forty, and the blood on the floor takes your footing away at the worst possible moment. Three hats, three hits.
The 1996 Jamiroquai video, directed by Jonathan Glazer, looks like the furniture is gliding around a still room. It is the other way round: the set was built on wheels and the camera was strapped to one of its walls, so when the crew rolled the set the walls sat dead still on screen and the floor appeared to slide. Anything standing on that floor kept its real position and therefore appeared to drift across the shot. This game is built on exactly that model, so the threat is never a sofa that decides to chase you: it is a wall arriving.
No account, no sign-in, and nothing that identifies you. Two things are counted. Vercel Analytics counts page views without cookies and without storing anything on your device. And when a game ends, the browser sends one line about that game: the score, how long you lasted, and the four counters from the end screen — cockroaches, ravens, slips and sofas — along with how long the room was and whether you played with a touchscreen or a keyboard, and which country the request came from — the country only, worked out by the server that received it, which is why no address is ever written down. That line carries a random number this tab invented for itself and forgets when you reload, so several games in one sitting can be told apart; nothing can connect one visit to another, or to you. Your best score is kept in your own browser and never sent. If your browser asks not to be tracked, nothing is sent at all. Questions to hello@virtualinsanity.lol.
"Virtual Insanity" by Jamiroquai, from Travelling Without Moving (1996), written and composed by Jay Kay and Toby Smith, produced by Al Stone; video directed by Jonathan Glazer. This is a fan-made game, not affiliated with or endorsed by the artists. Game by Yarin Winter, hello@virtualinsanity.lol.